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| Posted by Jerry Smith at | | | |
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What amazing friends and family... I’ve been overwhelmed by emails, letters, cards, flowers, well wishes, etc. And even more by the concern for me. The latter has been a bit awkward. Like Ricky – or maybe because of Ricky – it’s more my nature to care for others. I’m not comfortable being the focal point. The most common question is “how are you doing”. To be honest, I don’t know the answer and from what I’m told, no two people grieve the same. If not sleeping, having no focus and wanting to talk/read/think about Ricky are normal at this stage than I guess I'm doing fine. It’s just a stage I need to go through. Someone quite close to me used to be annoyed by her husband’s efforts to “take care of her.” I would not brand her a feminist, but she was of the opinion that she was quite capable of taking care of herself. I tried without much success to convince her that marriage was about the strength of the partnership. I tried to explain to her how I woke up each day with a desire to make Ricky’s day better, happier, easier. I know that Ricky did the same. The miracle of marriage is that two together are stronger than either would be alone. I think she finally understands what I was talking about. I was thirty years old when I married Ricky, and I was doing an okay job on my own. I know that I’ll be okay, and also that I’ll never really be alone. Now I will wake each day with an unending desire to keep Ricky’s legacy alive. So, on that note, how are you? Please let me know. Love and gratitude,
Gael
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| Posted by Jerry Smith at | | | |
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Today was tough. I met with the Lions to review benefits, pension, etc. I know I’m lucky to even have these things to discus… but still it was difficult. Even more difficult was cleaning out Ricky’s personal items from his office. I was not prepared for this. I guess I just didn’t want to think about it.
I’m getting used to the loneliness. It’s the emptiness that is unexpected. I thought I would be overcome with memories and emotion. But I’m not… there’s just an emptiness and sadness. Even Wow-ee and Gidget feel it. They are usually bouncing off the walls by 6:00 am… Today at 11:30 I had to make them get up and eat. I guess this too will pass in time. One of the things that Ricky struggled with the last few months was the feeling that he was failing in his promise to take care of me. This bothered him a lot, regardless of how much I assured him that he had more than lived up to his promise. To “take care” of someone can be defined in so many ways…the most obvious of which is in the material sense. But Ricky took care of me in a much more remarkable way… with a love that was all encompassing and unconditional. He continues to keep his promise as his love – which remains forever in my heart – has made me a better person. The last promise that I made to Ricky was that I would be okay and that he didn’t have to worry about me. Today, I can’t tell you when I will “feel okay” or how I will do it. But a promise made is a promise kept and I will be okay. Love to all,
Gael
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| Posted by Jerry Smith at | | | |
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Funeral arrangements are as follows (addresses listed below):
MONDAY – JULY 6
AJ Desmond & Sons Funeral Home
Visitation: 2-8 p.m.
Scripture Readings: 6:30 p.m.
Eulogies: 7 p.m. TUESDAY – JULY 7
St. Thomas Moore Church
Visitation at Church: 9:30 a.m.
Funeral Mass: 10:30 a.m.
Reception Following Mass: TBD FRIDAY - JULY 10
Burial Service: 9:00 a.m. St. Francis Cemetery, Phoenix
Memorial Service: 11:00 a.m. St. Gregory, Phoenix AJ DESMOND & SONS FUNERAL HOME
www.desmondfuneralhome.com
2600 Crooks Road, Troy, MI -- ¼ mile south of Big Beaver Road
248-362-2500 ST. THOMAS MOORE CHURCH
4580 North Adams Road, Troy, MI – just south of Long Lake Road
248-647-2222 ST. FRANCIS CEMETERY
2033 N 48th St, Phoenix, AZ 85008-3347
(602) 267-1329 ST. GREGORY
3424 N 18th Ave, Phoenix, AZ
(602) 264-4488 All information also will be available at www.desmondfuneralhome.com. A special hotel room rate of $39.00/night plus tax, has been arranged at the:
Doubletree Hotel Dearborn
5801 Southfield Expressway, Detroit
(313) 336-3340
www.doubletree1.hilton.com The family requests, in lieu of flowers, contributions in Ricky's name may be made to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (www.pancan.org).
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| Posted by Jerry Smith at | | | |
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| Earlier this morning, Thursday, July 2, 2009, 2:19 AM Eastern, the love of my life went home to Heaven. Hallelujah! Praise God.
Services will be held next week in Detroit and in Phoenix. Details will be shared once finalized.
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| Posted by Jerry Smith at | | | |
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Life is defined by moments when the winds change and unforeseen obstacles present themselves. For Ricky Sandoval, his moment was the afternoon of May 30, 2006, when doctors told him he had 3-5 months to live.
How do you absorb a blow like that? What in life prepares you to shoulder such news?
Ricky breathed deeply, digested the diagnosis and figuratively shoved it back in the doctor’s face. He grabbed his pancreatic cancer by the neck, strangled it with all his might and cracked open a beer five months later to celebrate what seemed at the time like a notable accomplishment.
It was just the start.
Today, 37 months after the initial diagnosis and two days after his 49th birthday, Ricky Sandoval went home to God.
I can’t bear to write the words “lost his battle or succumbed to cancer,” with any form of sincerity. Growing as close to Ricky as I have in the last three years, I know he’d cringe at the notion.
At some point during this fight, Ricky separated mind and body. He coupled his warrior spirit with an implausible attitude to motivate, inspire and amaze thousands of people.
No matter how lousy he felt, he did everything in his power to make sure you didn’t know. Ricky was more interested in your life, your journey.
“How are the girls?” was his favorite question whenever we talked. He loved to hear stories about my daughters, and if he didn’t, he faked it pretty well.
Tuesday, I joined many others in wishing Ricky a happy birthday in his hospital room. Though he was physically ravaged, Ricky still managed to smile, laugh and acknowledge the kindness of everyone in the room.
Through hacking coughs and winces of pain, every request was accompanied by a please and thank you.
He was overwhelmed by a level of excitement his body couldn’t handle anymore, but his mind cherished. He lit up when his dogs, Gidget and Wowee, paid him a final visit.
The body lying in the hospital bed betrayed a mind that changed lives. Ricky was always positive, thinking about the next challenge, the next round of chemo, the next trip up north with his wife, Gael.
He took countless phone calls from other people fighting cancer, offered them encouragement and passed along words of wisdom. In February, he told me the toughest part of being so generous with his time was growing close to people and sharing in their pain when they said goodbye to loved ones.
Now I know how he felt. Today, we’re sharing in Gael’s pain as we say goodbye to a dear friend and professional colleague.
“Fighting to Live” were the words that fueled Ricky Sandoval, but a simple slogan can’t capture his impact on those around him. The trail of inspiration he left behind is sprinkled with lessons each of us should remember when it’s our time to fight.
As I left Ricky’s room Tuesday, figuring it would be our last time together, I grabbed his hand, kissed him on the forehead and said, “I love you. You’re an amazing guy.”
He responded by saying, “We’ll see you soon. Say hi to the girls for me.”
What else did I expect to hear?
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| Posted by Jerry Smith at | | | |
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Ricky is beginning to slip away. The signs were apparent this morning. His breathing is much slower, he is sleeping significantly more. When awake, he is at times sharp as a tack and other times a bit disoriented. He is comfortable and is not in pain. This is a day I prayed would never come. But while my heart breaks, I know that this is a journey that will not end in sadness. He is going home to our Lord and for this I rejoice. I hope you will join me. …the time has come for my departure.
I have fought the good fight.
I have finished the race.
I have kept the faith.
Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness.
2 Timothy 4: 6-8 All our love,
Gael and Ricky
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| Posted by Jerry Smith at | | | |
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It has been quite a special birthday for Ricky. Friends have been stopping by with cards, a cake, crawfish pie, and even a teddy bear; calling and texting and emailing—sending wishes in a multitude of ways. The biggest surprise for Ricky was a visit from Gidget and Wowee! Yes, we actually got permission from the hospital to bring our golden retrievers up for a visit. My sister and her family also arrived (anticlimactic to the dogs). Ricky’s spirit is undaunted by the battle waging in his body. Even as he struggles to clear the thickening mucus from his throat so he can speak a few words, his unique sense of humor is still present and he shows us how to walk this path. His birthday is nearing its end and he is tired from all the excitement and just keeping up the fight. Once again we are so grateful for the love demonstrated in the care and support of Ricky’s “family.” Love,
Gael and Ricky
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| Posted by Jerry Smith at | | | |
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Good morning everyone, A comfortable evening for Ricky made better with visits from several friends turned into a tough late night in Karmanos Room 9217. A two hour battle with congestion that Ricky could not clear - no matter how hard he coughed - caused his oxygen levels to plunge. His breathing finally stabilized shortly after 4:00 A.M., but continues to be monitored closely. I wish I could respond to all of the wonderful posts and emails. One day soon I will give it my best try. Ricky and I read and appreciate them all, from the ones that make us laugh to the ones that make us wonder can they really be writing such nice things about us. In reading the posts and emails it is evident that all those who know Ricky know that he is a fighter. His dedication in this toughest of fights has already made him a winner in countless ways. And I think we are all winners for having him in our lives. (Bias admitted!!) Sixteen years ago in front of God I vowed “in sickness and in health”, and more recently, I made a promise to Ricky to keep him comfortable and as pain free as possible. This is my singular focus and an honor I do with all the love my heart and soul can give. I can only hope that I do as well as Ricky would most certainly do for me and I will be eternally grateful to all those that are supporting us in this journey. Updates will continue… Love,
Gael
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| Posted by Jerry Smith at | | | |
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